How comfortable have you become at home with your family members? I’m not referring to your parents or other relatives living outside of your home. Your spouse and children- how comfortable have you become with them? Or they with you?

When my wife and I first starting dating I would take frequent trips to the mirror to make sure I did not appear disheveled or to confirm I didn’t have a booger hanging out of my nose. I’d often have to reassure myself that I did not present an embarrassing image to the woman I was trying to impress.

Fast forward many years later, not to mention 4 kids later. I wake up in the mornings completely uninhibited in regards to my appearance and/or current state. As an example, I used to wait for the “morning wood” to calm down before I’d get out of bed, but now I don’t have time for that nonsense any more. These days  I get up and walk right into the kitchen whilst still pitching a tent, make myself a shake and in the meantime my children are bobbing and weaving to avoid getting nailed in the forehead every time they race by me with endeavors of achieving the last bowl of cereal.

Another prime example is when its time to go to the bathroom-  I don’t even bother to lock, or for that matter shut the door anymore as inevitability  ensures that at least one of my children will invade my space. They  will interrupt my sessions with the intent of conversing on the important matters of Star Wars or to inform me that we are out of milk. Often times I will be asked to critique their artwork or settle a various disputes among them. I used to beg for 5 damn minutes of privacy, but they’ve warn me down and I’m too damn tired. I’m just happy with full roll of toilet paper.

As far as my wife goes, we’ve also become complacent with impressing each other. We don’t hide our bodies from each other, we have discussions while  one of us is in the shower, and also converse over daily struggles during an occasional potty break when the bathroom actually happens to be quiet for a few minutes. We must reign from whatever peaceful space while we have the chance.

Making school lunches half naked is only part of our family’s forte- sacrifices are made and proper etiquette is often ignored, but at least the kids make to the school bus on time. Circumstances may still be hectic, like when my daughter loses her mind because her socks just don’t sit right in her sneaker, or when my son has a conniption when we force him to brush is teeth before the required departure time. But the job gets done. Our family system is constantly adapting and evolving as we become comfortable with each other. We have scenarios where one kid might be pooping while a sibling will be brushing his teeth right next to them. Funnier still is when they make the switch- the one who was on the potty is now brushing their teeth while the other is pooping. As long as they both wash their hands I can’t complain about the route of efficiency they decided to take. If a family member leaves a glass of water unmanned then go ahead hydrate yourself. No one cares. 

I love that we can be at ease with each other and not always fret the formalities of living together. It can also crack me up. When my son starts pretend pole dancing against the banister completely nude we can’t help but laugh. We’ve also loosened the reigns on the way they speak to each other. For example after my 14 year old son blew out the candles on his recent birthday, my youngest son of 8 years said to him “Hey what did ya wish for? A penis? One that’s bigger than mine?” Instead of reprimanding him we allowed ourselves to laugh after the initial shock wore off.

Being at ease with family members also helps everyone manage their day more effectively as a team and individually as well. The other day I had to rush my youngest daughter somewhere and I opted to go #1 before leaving, and my daughter decided to brush her teeth at same time, so there we stood, handling our business, back to back.